Graveyard of forgotten (or just really bad) technology

 

Shane Corellian
“A long dead soldier looks out from the frame
No one remembers his war; no one remembers his name
Go out to the meadow; scare off all the crows
It does nothing but rain here and nothing will grow”
            -Tom Waits

All products will utilimately die. Period. But, like the death rattle of a man dying of terminal flatulence, some products hang on despite Kevorkian-like measures to invite death. I won’t list the obvious candidates (Microsoft Vista, Microsoft Me, etc) but here is a special list of 3 massively hyped-up crap that, never should have made it past the third trimester.

Network Computer  Network PC

Some say that Oracle’s Network Computer (NC) was “before it’s time”. Ellison foresaw the Cloud. So what? If I offered In-flight movies before the Wright Brothers ever got to North Carolina I wouldn’t be “ahead of my time” as much as I’d be psychic carny. Where was the infrastructure to support the NC? Where was the demand (in 1996) for network applications or SaaS? Let’s face it, the Network Computer was only ever about Larry Ellison trying steal Gates’ thunder. It had nothing to do with fulfilling a need or introducing some excellent content to the consumer. It was only about breaking the Windows “monopoly” which, in my opinion, Microsoft already excels at.

blog spc 2010 10 15 WindowsLive

To paraphrase Homer: I’ve seen some [search engines] that sucked but these sucking sucks were the worst sucks that ever sucked”. I had about as much chance of finding anything related to my search using Live.com as I had picking Adam’s navel lint. The latter was also much more rewarding. Anyway, I’ll hand it to Microsoft,
BING doesn’t suck nearly as bad as Windows Live Search but it still kinda has that Live stank attached to it. I didn’t buy a Samsung Fascinate because it forced Bing as the search engine. (Yes, I know that this has been resolved but still, not even providing an avenue to Google?) I ended up, incidentally, buy a Samsung Galaxy Vibrant.

Tivoli Enterprise Console (T/EC)

OK, before any of my Tivoli friends get all aggro on me, I want to say that my beef is actually with the reliance that T/EC Rules had on Prolog.

I remember a T/EC instructor once told me that the reason IBM stuck with Prolog dependency in T/EC was that only Prolog allowed for the speed needed for processing all the Events that came into T/EC. I call B.S. on that. T/EC rule writers have benefited from the reliance on Prolog only because nobody knows or gives a crap about Prolog anymore. T/EC contracting positions are generally fairly lucrative because the 7 guys that know Prolog have been retired for 20 years.

If done right, T/EC actually kicked ass handling event management and correlation.

OK, I better get back to work. As you were…