Support Levels

 

We at Admin Arsenal are finalizing plans for our various formal paid support options. Here are some that we are considering*, please vote in the comments for the one you would prefer for your organization.

Level Cost Response Time Support
Talc $1/year Whenever Sympathy. Talc support includes an agent who will commiserate with your problem. There won’t be a resolution of any kind, just someone who will ‘understand’ what you’re bitching about.
Shale $5/year Within a month or so Response will always be, “We recommend you upgrade to the next level of support.”
Obsidian $100/year Week? List of competing products that don’t have your unimportant problem.
Patina $100/month 72 hours Guaranteed referral to “my supervisor.”  8th supervisor offers refund.
Silver $100/week 24 hours Answer to your question.**
Gold $100/day 30 seconds Answer to the question you should have asked.
Platinum $100/second 8 hours before you ask Air-dropped consultants guaranteed to correct issue.

* Actual support levels will most assuredly differ from these proposals.

** Answer not guaranteed to be correct.