You know how one has license to say anything bad about another person so long as the observation ends with “bless his heart” (modify pronoun appropriately)? Well, I thought a little common sense should be applied to Adam’s New Years Resolutions post especially considering that Adam is suffering under more delusion than usual, bless his heart.
Adam: Write at least one source code comment per month, whether the code needs it or not.
Common Sense: Oh c'mon. I say you double your total number of comments. (2 x 0 is still 0)
Adam: Clean my keyboard.
Common Sense: The solvent has yet to be invented, let alone available for civilian use, that could even begin to clean that thing.
Adam: Replace keyboard since the only thing making the contacts work is years of grime.
Common Sense: Why must you disparage grime?
Adam: Finally give that poor, illiterate kitten I keep seeing online a cheeseburger.
Common Sense: Put it on the Todd Margaret kitty food plan.
Adam: Empty my computer’s trash folder.
Common Sense: AKA - Zeroing out your disk
Adam: Come to terms with the loss of that one file I had in the trash folder that wasn’t backed up.
Common Sense: You mean the one titled alt.bin.sex.plush? You'll never get over that one, bud.
Adam: 2 words: Learn to count.
Common Sense: Marked improvement. Well done.
Adam: Create my own Internet meme by “accidentally” posting an embarrassing video of myself online.
Common Sense: We'll believe it is an accident if this time you don't set up mirror sites to handle the expected bandwidth.
Adam: Vociferously deny that because my embarrassing video was posted last year so it doesn’t qualify.
Common Sense: Just delete the comments...it'll make it appear new.
Adam: Say no to a relative needing assistance with their computer.
Common Sense: You see, you got too aggressive. You've just set yourself up for failure. Too greedy, man.
Adam: Who am I kidding, keep helping relatives but be a little whinier about it.
Common Sense: *nods supportively*
Adam: More stridently lobby the government about general lack of flying cars.
Common Sense: How about, "only get two DUI's this year". Start out small, brother.
Adam: Celebrate one month of World of Warcraft abstinence by going on a raid (repeat every month.)
Common Sense: Sooo, business as usual? I'll bring the Hot Pockets.
Adam: Fix something that ain’t broke.
Common Sense: I believe this was already covered in admitting you'll help relatives with technical assistance.
Adam: Finish work early at least once and see if there really is a glowing orb in the sky during the day.
Common Sense: You'll just end up worshiping it. Stay inside. Please, for the love of my god, stay in doors.
Adam: Never again be caught without a good blog post idea.
Common Sense: Hear Hear!