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Scenario: You ask your moderately paid Microsoft trainer a pertinent question that is not specifically discussed in the training manual.
What he says: I can tell you but you will learn best by figuring it out on your own.
What he thinks: Ummm, I don’t remember seeing that on my PowerPoint slides.
Scenario: You explain to your Director of IT the ramifications of swapping out your backup/restore software.
What she says: Thank you! I don’t know what we’d do without you.
What she thinks: Just nod and pretend you know what the hell he’s talking about.
Scenario: You finally bring back the COO’s laptop after fixing his “Microsoft Word” problem (when the problem was actually malware infected from a porn site ending in .ru)
What he says: What was wrong with my computer?
What he thinks: Did he see my pr0n directory?
Scenario: You make eye-contact with the Marketing director in the restroom.
What he says: There’s the man! You keeping our computer’s running, Humphrey?
What he thinks: Is that the same gravy stain on his shirt from last week?
Scenario: You tell a vendor at Tech-Ed that you are only listening to them to get their swag.
What he says: Hey, that’s what it’s here for, boss! How’s the convention treatin’ ya?
What he thinks: I’m so glad I didn’t use booth babes.
Scenario: You keep quoting Fletch to the new 21 year-old hottie receptionist.
What she giggles: Heh heh. Good one.
What she thinks: Who do I hate that I could hook up with this 80’s-movie-quoting fossil?
Scenario: Your interviewer notices that you put CNE on your resume
What he says: I’m impressed.
What he thinks: Let me guess, you’re from Utah.