You can tell what music a Sys Admin loves by looking at their network

Tom Waits, Palace Theater, Louisville, KY

Tom Waits - Photo by Steve Mitchell

Hey System Administrators! This is how your network looks if your primary musical influence is…

Eminem

  • Last O/S deployment: Windows Vista
  • You have a fibre-optic cable running from your workstation to the OC-192 backbone
  • Your end-users were just upgraded (by a consultant) to 100 mbps and the ungrateful *#%!’s are spoiled

ZZ Top

  • Last O/S deployment: Windows 7, manually installed on each system. This allowed you to avoid going home while you had La Grange, Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers and Mexican Blackbird on a record-breaking 7-week continuous loop

Mormon Tabernacle Choir

  • Last O/S Deployment: Windows 7. No hiccups
  • No discarded coffee cups litter your cube
  • While troubleshooting Active Directory you make sure to utter the words “Never had this problem with NDS” 38 times
  • If you weren’t married (at age 21 1/2) the president’s assistant would hook you up with her divorced daughter

Tool

  • Last O/S Deployment: Windows 7 and you’re frothing at the mouth for Windows 8
  • Your entire network is completely up-to-date on security updates and hot fixes.
  • Your co-workers fear you. This is not, necessarily, by design but you embrace it nonetheless

Hank III

  • You’re a Sys Admin? Really? The first round is definitely on me

Three Dog Night

  • Last O/S Deployment: Huh?
  • You are 3 days from retiring or suffering a major heart attack
  • Your co-workers have adopted a strict “no Three Dog Night rule” at home

Dave Matthews

  • Last O/S Deployment: Windows 8, beta
  • It’s time to throw away all of your “discarded” Seattle’s Best coffee cups, sweetie

Steve Miller Band

  • Last O/S Deployment: Failed Windows NT 4.0
  • Next O/S Deployment: Why? I retire in 15 months, 1 week and 2 days

Adam Carolla Podcast

  • Though you complained during every step, your network is running smoothly and it was built in, wow, 3 days. Well done

Skeptoid Podcast

  • There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with your network

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

  • Last O/S Deployment: VDI running Windows 7
  • As long as the tracks you know go beyond Eine Kleine Nachtmusik (Allegro) your computers are probably named things like Spass, Osiris, Köchel, SalieriSux and HulceIsGod
  • Your cubicle is spotless. You had your last zit in 1988 when you attended your high school prom as a 14 year-old college sophomore (although your date was president of FHA)

GG Allin

  • You have no network. The fact of the matter is, you caused your H.R. rep to change professions and your company is filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy as you read this
  • You are no longer reading this but are now ripping the copper from your office walls

Tom Waits

  • You’re reading this from a computer running an i386 CPU and you are planning a network upgrade to Token Ring
  • Your file server is running on NetWare 3.12 (and the uptime is currently 2,582 days)
  • You still hope to bag chics by referencing your years of dedicated service as the first Sysop for the OS/2 Warp forum on CompuServe.
  • We need to meet at the next Waits’ concert (his last one was in 2008!)

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