Red Flags That You’ve Got a Bad Service Provider


Photo by Victoria Reay

Whether you’re co-locating a server, using hosted e-mail, or riding the latest cloud technology, you need to make sure that your service provider can give you the goods. It can be tough to tell from the outside if the core is rotten, but there are a number of red flags to watch out for.

  • Each invoice comes with a pre-emtive credit for future outages.
  • Redunant servers are virtual machines running on the same computers they are backing up.
  • Their web site requires Netscape Navigator version 3.12 or earlier.
  • They request that if you’re uploading a lot of data to mail in Zip disks.
  • Backup power provided by stationary bikes hooked up to an electric motor.
  • They ask you to pay in bearer bonds.
  • Fire suppression is a set of cappuccino foam makers.
  • When calling support you can hear an order being taken at a fast food drive-through… from the inside.
  • The primary and backup facilities share a parking lot.
  • Executives start every conversation by invoking their 5th amendment rights.
  • You salesperson refers to his Motorola DynaTAC phone as a “Blackberry.”
  • Server room cooling is handled by a ceiling fan and a sun roof.
  • Option 1 on the automated phone system is to “serve papers.”
  • Their tech support web page is a link to Google.