What do dolphins and sys admins have in common? Nothing.

Sea World Blue Horizons showI’m wrapping up a vacation week in San Diego. Since we have a bunch of kids our vacation included the obligatory visit(s) to Sea World. 

I’m not besmirching Sea World. We used to live in San Diego and we’ve had season passes before. We’ve crawled over every single inch of that park. We’ve seen every show numerous times, which is why we were intrigued to learn that the Dolphin show was “new”. It’s called “Blue Horizons”. The fact that they omitted the word “dolphins” should have been our first warning.

The show was, in a word; disappointing.

It had all the makings of a great Broadway production: Talented actors, acrobats, live birds, amazing costumes, and a huge pool of salt water. Sadly, the only thing missing from the new dolphin show was… dolphins. 

If Blue Horizons was a movie, the dolphins would, at best, be supporting actors. At worst they would be uncredited cameos.

I think the producer of
Cirque de la Mer
had been given full reign over the show. Too bad he or she didn’t consult with the dolphin handlers. 

Gone are the jumping for rings and audience participation. Instead the audience was regaled by a lady dressed as a red parrot doing a ‘sort of’ ballet. You could just hear the muted groans when the male dancer came strutting out. (I think half the video recorders were turned off at that point.) Even my wife, who is undoubtedly artistic, gave me the ‘oh-please-say-it-isn’t-so’ look. It was like watching Sir Laurence Olivier suddenly appear in a John Wayne movie.

OK, the Olivier comparison may seem harsh, but in its defense, there are two points in the show where the handlers are water skiing on the dolphins. Now that’s actually part of the old show, but in this case it’s just weird. You have a man, and then the woman, who are dramatically dancing around the stage in what appears to be a scene right out of the Nutcracker, and 30 seconds later they’re water skiing on dolphins. Now, if you haven’t seen dolphin water skiing, let me say that it isn’t graceful. You have to do a sort of bull-legged balancing act. Bull-legged wobbling and ballet should never be spoken in the same sentence, let alone performed in the same production.

OK. So let’s draw a parallel to our jobs as sys admins. 

There is no parallel.

I just thought I’d forewarn you. Afterall, summer vacation is just around the corner.