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10 System Administration Tools in Windows Server 2045

Adam RuthAdam Ruth

    Photo by lautsu

I’ve just returned from the future where I spent my time playing with Windows Server 2045. I spent some time looking at other things, but I can’t reveal them right now because I don’t want to create a time causality loop (or whatever Star Trek called them) and I’ll be keeping my stock tips to myself, thank you.

Let me just say that System Administration in 2054 is quite a bit different than today. (You read that right, 9 years after the release of Windows Server 2045 – some things never change.) All I can really tell you about is some of the improved tools Microsoft will be including.

1. Ping - It not only ensures that computers have a functioning network interface, but it will actually tell you when the interface will fail and why. Similar to “pre-crimes” in Minority Report this tool will display a red ball if the network interface is going to go down because a user changed something saving you having to ask the question when they call in. 

2. Remote Desktop - Remote desktop now remotes the physical presence of the computer, allowing you to plug in peripherals, insert CDs, and apply asset tag stickers. It even works pretty well over slow terabit WAN connections.

3. Notepad - It’s now also in C:\Windows\WINNT\Legacy\System256, making 15 copies. 

4. Drive Mappings - Drive letter mappings have been extended from 26 letters to the entire Unicode character set. 

5. Xcopy - The improved version of xcopy not only copies files from one location to another but now works with new DNA based files. It’s not always free from mutation, however, and it spawned a new game where files copied back and forth between servers evolve into new formats. Particularly interesting results happen with certain *ahem* adult oriented image files.

6. Task Manager - Now displays bandwidth usage on psychic connections and includes physical as well as theoretical memory usage.

7. Windows Backup - The backup tool doesn’t do anything, just to see if anyone would notice.

8. Firewall - Windows firewall can block connections based on the attitude of the user attempting to connect based on 7 configurable presets: Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Dopey, Bashful, Sneezy, and I always forget the 7th.

9. Windows Update - It has an option to install patches every 30 minutes, which will throttle down patches from the default “install when available.” 

10. Network Connection Diagnostic Tool - It works. 

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