5 Useful Product Comparisons

If you work in IT you are familiar with the product comparison chart. This is a staple of computer technology advertising, particularly software. Sometimes the chart details features of different versions of a single product and sometimes it compares competing products from different vendors.

I find them to be so amazingly useful that I think we need them to help evaluate all of life’s decisions. So without further ado here are 6 comparisons that I think the world needs, in no particular order.


Feature Water Beer
Quenches thirst Yes Certainly
Cheaper from tap than bottle Affirmative  
Available in ‘light’ form   Uh-huh
Contains Water Yup You betcha
Free as in…   You got it
Falls from sky Indubitably Soitenly1

1 Only on the Big Rock Candy Mountain.


Feature Green Crayon Blue Crayon
Can be used to draw *nod's head* Absolutely
Waxy Undoubtedly Well, duh!
Covered in paper I must agree How could it not be?
Taste quality rapidly falls off after age 3 Oui All signs point to yes
Blue   No (just kidding)


Feature Tomato Potato
To-MAH-to So let it be written  
Po-TAH-to   So let it be done


Feature Butter Margarine I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter
Can believe it’s not butter   Why not?  


Feature Reality TV Fork in Eye
Affects eyesight Absitively posilutely Positive
Painful Can it be? Answer: Yes Knock knock. Who's there? Yes
Typically self inflicted Yeah  
Okay to wish on worst enemy   It's a dessert topping AND a floor wax!


Feature Unicorn Narwhal
Exists   YES! YES! YES!